I could also carry porn with me wherever I was with my smartphone. It was a pretty rare occasion to get someone to go all the way with me on MSN, but luckily I had high-speed internet now, and online porn had exploded. It makes dealing with this addiction a lot easier. That was good enough for two year-old boys. We consider these personal accounts very valuable because, while the science and research is powerful within its own right, personal accounts from real people seem to really hit home about the damage that pornography does to real lives.
Dallin gave us permission to share his story that he originally posted on his personal blog. The following story has been edited for clarity and length. Then came the invention of the webcam. Getting girls to go on webcam to have cyber-sex was still the ultimate goal in my eyes, but Facebook had become my new pornography. We would be on webcam with each other for hours almost daily. Well, I thought wrong. I was about nine years old the first time I saw a naked woman. Once they were on webcam with me it was a game to get them to have cyber-sex. I might not have chatted with a single girl during that time, so I would often have to call it quits and just watch regular, boring porn then go to sleep. My childhood friend, who lived two doors down and is a few years older than me, told me we had to watch Titanic because the girl in it gets naked. Of course, she was devastated and heartbroken because I had betrayed her and broken a promise, but she at least gave me an opportunity to try and fix things for the second time. I confessed to Brittany and as amazing as she is, she wanted to help me fix this more than anything. It was a pretty rare occasion to get someone to go all the way with me on MSN, but luckily I had high-speed internet now, and online porn had exploded. This time was different. I was far too scared about how my wife would react if I told her I had fallen again, so I continued to lie to her whenever she would ask how it was going. That became my new favorite, secret past-time, all within the safety of my secluded bedroom in the basement with my own personal computer. I had tried hundreds of times to stop, often lasting only a few days before I had relapsed. I no longer had to try to get girls to send me pictures or show me their bras on webcam because they were all posting pictures of themselves in bikinis or other clothing I found attractive on their Facebook pages. She is the love of my life, but I also tried as hard as I could to hide the side of me that was addicted to pornography. I mainly used my imagination. Another crater had been blasted into my young brain. We get thousands of emails from people all over the world sharing their stories with us. I knew I needed to stop. Fast forward another year. Then, entire webcam sites started popping up. After every session, I would feel an awful amount of disgust with myself and my body felt hollow and dark.
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