Raj and I did NOT want to end up as the cliche of the love that starts like a hot coal then cools until it is nothing but ash. What we do sexually is private and not to be discussed with others outside our relationship unless we give permission to discuss it. Feel free to use this sample list to help you and your partner in generating your own set of relationship ground rules. It helps us feel emotionally safe and secure about choosing to remain in an intimate relationship with our partner. We don't ever have to do anything we don't want to do sexually. Without trust, we're likely to feel growing amounts of anxiety, fear, disappointment and betrayal. If you invest a little intention, attention and action early and often, the baby step actions can lead to a tidal wave of positive impact on the intimacy and sexiness in your relationship.
We can initiate or decline sex without incurring a negative reaction from our partner. For example; showing up late, not doing something we said we would, etc. We will each agree to be medically tested for sexually transmitted disease at any time. Below is an example of a Healthy Sex trust contract. It's okay to ask for what we want sexually, without being teased or shamed for it. We are each ultimately responsible for our own sexual fulfillment and orgasm. Judgement is ingrained in our biology, literally. Based on your discussion, create a list of understandings you will both agree to honor. We agree to be responsive to each other's needs for improving physical comfort. We will support each other in handling any negative consequences that may result from our lovemaking. What we do sexually is private and not to be discussed with others outside our relationship unless we give permission to discuss it. We each agree to be sexually monogamous unless we have a clear, prior understanding that it's okay to have sex outside the relationship this includes virtual sex, such as phone or internet sex. Raj and I did NOT want to end up as the cliche of the love that starts like a hot coal then cools until it is nothing but ash. I, like you, am a human being who has evolved to make leaps of judgement quickly, otherwise we might not survive! We will notify each other if we suspect or know that a pregnancy has occurred from our lovemaking. Relief is let go, and to let go is to surrender, surrender is vulnerability, vulnerability is intimacy and intimacy is an on-ramp to sexiness. Without trust, we're likely to feel growing amounts of anxiety, fear, disappointment and betrayal. One of those crazy stories that I makeup, I call: While no one can guarantee that any relationship will last and remain satisfying for both people, you can strengthen mutual trust by having clear understandings about what you expect from each other in the relationship. Sometimes the dishes are not done as well as I think they should be. We don't have to disclose the details of a previous sexual relationship unless that information is important to our present partner's physical health or safety. Trust grows when both people in the relationship act responsibly and follow-through with commitments. We will notify each other immediately if we have or suspect we have a sexually transmitted infection. These mutual understandings are often important to building trust in a healthy sexual relationship. We don't ever have to do anything we don't want to do sexually. Feel free to use this sample list to help you and your partner in generating your own set of relationship ground rules.
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